Are you someone that is aware of your emotions? If you answered yes then chances are you are emotionally intelligent. In this episode, we are talking about being emotionally intelligent and the effects that have on a relationship. As always to be a part of the conversation you can find us on Facebook and Instagram @RickAndNamon.
Host and Producer: Richard "Rick" Dodds @Doddsism
Co-Host and Show Music: @IAmTheDjBlue
Richard Dodds 0:00
This relationship talks with Rick and naman, I'm Rick and I am the DJ blue.
And he's the DJ blue.
Richard Dodds 0:09
Just the DJ blue and I am.
I am still, however the DJ blue.
Richard Dodds 0:15
The topic for this episode is emotional intelligence. Okay, so emotional.
Are we gonna have somebody else on here?
Richard Dodds 0:26
Because he does both at the same time.
That's just you, must you at that moment.
Richard Dodds 0:33
So like, according to Wikipedia, emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to perceive us understand, manage and handle emotions.
I would say I'm emotionally intelligent.
Richard Dodds 0:46
And that was my next question. Name, man. Do you feel like you are emotionally intelligent?
Absolutely, Richard. I feel like I am emotionally intelligent. And I'm gonna tell you like a robot toy. He said it but you sound like a robot the way you said it. That's fine. I'm gonna tell you why. You know, don't don't don't don't criticize me just because I like the way I sound. First of all, let's not talk about you off the air. Richard doesn't like the way he sounds everyone. How about that I just told on you. Anywho. Um, yes. I'm emotionally sound. I don't make fun of people. I would say I hold back my punches. Siri? No, I don't know. I probably not emotionally sound based. I don't know. Based on I don't know, it just depends. No, I'm gonna go ahead and say no, I'm not emotionally sound.
Richard Dodds 1:34
How do you feel like you know, what, don't you feel like you're emotionally intelligent?
Well, I was I was starting to, I was starting to describe, like, all the things that I actually do. know, honestly, yeah, I would say yes, I would say I'm emotionally intelligent, um, I can pick up on, you know, different things. That's hard to say. It's hard to say I don't even know I don't even know. Like, I've never qualified my emotion with an intelligent never or with a with a sense, if you will, I don't know.
Richard Dodds 2:09
I think is like, mostly intelligence is one of those new words that people use a lot. And I think it's been around for maybe, like, I think it just became popular maybe three years ago, four years ago or so. But it's just really means that you're in touch with the way that you feel. And you're, you can understand the way that other people feel. And especially like, yes, absolutely. You feel like you're emotionally intelligent.
Absolutely. I can write the book on it. Oh, yeah. I would say so. I'm starting to write in the book right now as we speak, and just in your head. It's gonna be called the emotionally intelligent. I am the DJ blue.
Richard Dodds 2:49
I think I think one of the reasons why I feel like I'm in touch with my emotions more than a lot of men and I will say men specifically, it's just because of the the way that my mom raised me like I was raised by both of my parents but my mom may did a good job of making sure that you were soft on the house not saw see that I was in touch and aware of my feelings and feelings of people around me. My dad is also someone who he never he's never been afraid of showing his emotion and share how he felt. So you know, I've seen my dad be emotional. I've probably seen my dad be more I probably see my emotional more times than I have seen my mom my dad was always like willing to you know like I've seen my dad cry see my mom cry and I think it's important especially as a man to see a man be able to express himself
Yeah, I would say I honestly I'm probably just the opposite My mom raised me she she she definitely put a lot of those soft qualities in me I mean, but that's that's what they are they that's those are the but the thing is you you do need the other qualities to balance those out because a while I am soft like a teddy bear I mean I could do some damage that's just that's just it but but um, I would say you know, I never seen like as far as like emotion goes um, I don't know I never seen really like my dad do that. Like my dad my dad really but but for me I it makes sense because personally I'm not really one to put my emotion out there either. You know, but um, I think like him another thing is it would be you know, I have seen a lots of ways are met lots of people went and experienced in those those people and their emotions, it does give you a bit of a learning experience, you know, just introducing yourself to others.
Richard Dodds 4:48
I will say that being emotionally intelligent, is really a lot has a lot to do with identifying emotions, and also just paying attention. Right? It's so many times I'm sad to see people poking a bear, you know, metaphorically speaking, and they don't even understand what they're doing is annoying that other person, because they're not paying attention to that other person's emotions, or either either that or they just don't care. That's why people get divorced. Yeah, yes, very, that's a very true thing.
That's exactly why people get divorced. As always, if somebody's not paying attention to the situation, or, or, or maybe, hey, maybe they're paying attention to just not seeing what the other person seeing.
Richard Dodds 5:31
I think a lot of times, man, I and I will say, especially black men have a hard time being in touch with our feelings. Because society teaches men to be tough and to be strong, and, you know, hide your emotions, and not learn how to process them. And on the other hand, we teach women as a society, to be in touch with your emotions, you can be soft, you can cry, you can do this you can process. And sometimes I can think of times where I didn't know how to process emotions, and a lot of times it ends up being just anger. I don't know how to I don't know what this emotion is, some of these, you do,
what did you do with that anger?
Richard Dodds 6:08
I mean, you know, always do stuff with a stutter, when you said that. Go ahead, I did not do it. Like you don't always do anything with the anger. But the fact of the matter is, is that you you get angry, and it's a lot to have to deal with. And I was like, this reminds me of something that I was listening to when I was talking about colors. And they were saying that the spectrum of colors, as you can see, and they were talking about the color blue, and how blue wasn't in literature for a long time.
Blue is amazing. It's an amazing color, I can definitely say that for sure.
Richard Dodds 6:41
They were talking about your favorite color blue. And they were saying how it wasn't finding literature for a long time, even in Greece, where a lot of things could be considered would be considered a blue like the ocean or whatnot. And one of the things the reasons why nothing of that literature ever describe the ocean or whatever as Blue was because it had that word hadn't been invented yet.
I wasn't born.
Richard Dodds 7:09
So long story short, is what the scientists or the anthropologist or whatever he was saying is that, and so we look for a lot of I'm tripping up. For some some cultures, you know how we have words for colors? Like we have turquoise, which is like a blue, green. And so for if it's a color in between, like, for pink, what is going oh,
Unknown Speaker 7:36
sorry, you such a nerd. Like I don't know, every time he's talking to the cooler, what are you talking about? He's so nerdy.
Richard Dodds 7:52
I'm bringing it around the corner now.
Please, please, cuz I like, there's so much going on with these colors. And it's like science immediately.
Richard Dodds 8:03
So colors, colors and a selection that are closely related. If we didn't give them a name, then we would we will give them we will say that they were a different color. So for instance, orange, orange, we don't have the word. If we didn't have the word orange that the hypothesis was we would describe it more as a red because it's in a red family or brown. Basically, what I'm saying is that if we don't have the knowledge of what emotions are, then we can't properly classify them in a place that they should be.
I see. So long colored, I see what you mean, if the colors aren't named,
Richard Dodds 8:36
then we classify and were classified as long story short, long story short,
if you can't classify the color, because you don't have a name for it. You can't do it.
Richard Dodds 8:45
So if you're frustrated, if you're sad if you're anxious, but you don't know how to describe that you might interpret those feelings as anger.
Yeah. Oh, man, I personally know exactly what you mean. Because I've personally been experiencing mild anxiety lately. And I recognize it as anxiety.
Richard Dodds 9:06
Yeah. And before you really knew, like right now,
start talking about those colors. I got anxious. And it took me back to a place where
Richard Dodds 9:19
I can think of times where we've had conversations where we've come to the awareness of oh, this is what anxiety is. Oh, you know, 10 years ago, I was feeling anxiety but I didn't know how to classify so I just thought I was angry or I just thought I was sad or depressed. But it was anxiety.
Me I just thought I was what's the word? I don't know a jerk.
Richard Dodds 9:44
I mean, that's to
other people. The problems other people and it's not me, it's never you and I think that's what I realized on my emotional intelligent journey. I've learned that it's not me. That's the problem. It's everyone else. Wow, I feel good here.
Richard Dodds 10:04
Just blame everybody else. Super healthy. Just blame everybody. For my Yeah.
I never be taxing never
Richard Dodds 10:14
take responsibility for anything. I'm sure that exactly that is the message. No, that's not it.
It will be refreshingly toxic now.
Richard Dodds 10:23
So I recently have been watching this show and it's called ready to love. And it's a dating show where they put 10 single 10 single man 10 single women together, and then eventually they try to get it down to three couples that are actually ready to. I hate I hate that.
But well, Yeah, same. Yeah, this
Unknown Speaker 10:44
is catchy. Yeah,
it's catchy. I mean, I'm saying like, it's annoying, but it's catchy. That's 100% the truth.
Richard Dodds 10:51
So I was late to the show. So I've been watching it from like, season one season one and a half, because it's like to season one. I just started season two. Yeah. So I just thought as me as well. And the things that these men like I've watched, I watched the man talk to the women and I see the woman's body language change. And the men do not even realize that they are digging a hole for themselves. It's like
so I would say the first season when they had the pastor on there, Dear Pastor Chris, my thing is this right? Exactly. My thing is this, like in certain situations like that, look, your emotional intelligence is like fiable. Right? That's, you need something like that. And I think for him, I wouldn't have went around telling everybody I was a pastor, I probably would have held off on that. I wouldn't let them get to know me as a person to pastor Yeah, as a person before you you automatic because I mean, honestly, hey, that's a that's a great job. And it's it, but it's an intimidating place. It's an intimidating position. And most women aren't emotionally intelligent, or men even aren't emotionally intelligent to be with that person in that position.
Richard Dodds 12:00
I think that it's a bunch of assumptions that come along with certain titles. Yeah. And I think the assumption as a pastor, somebody's trying to data pastors that Oh, like, I can't do anything wrong, and I can't swear, and I can't drink and, and I think you make all of those assumptions. It's kind of like, it's a prejudice. It is a prejudice, because you're assuming something about somebody before you actually get to know them personally. It is it is it can be problematic. It can be problematic, but but so many times you see those people and they're not like reading the room, you know, read the room, like, Yeah, and like, Fu and it's like, I know, like from us, like we will be sitting talking to people, it doesn't matter if you're talking to a man or a woman, if you're just having a general conversation or romantic. You can tell how that a lot of times for most people, you can tell how they're taking the information that you're giving them. Yeah. And it's so many, it's like, I looked at all these man like saying these things. And like instantly these women are getting turned off or getting turned away. And they just keep digging a hole and they're not paying attention. And I was like, wow, like they have a lack of emotional intelligence. And I have so many, I've had so many female friends tell me like, Oh, you're emotionally intelligent. I'm like, isn't that a common thing to be in touch and,
and so and I say that, like I said, that's that's you like you were saying, like your mom, your mom put those things into you. But it has to be placed there, you know that that clean slate has to be placed. And then you have to also have the things to protect yourself. You know, so So wow, hey, you know some things it's like, it's like live with with your piece when your mom creates that piece. And then whatever your dad puts in there, if there's some, some masculine stuff, put some masculine mix it all together if there's somebody I'm saying, but I'm saying that some people aren't raised by males they're raised by so it's difficult for females to do it, but they do it all the time. But yeah, they can't provide a lot of the things that a man can provide. Just like a man can provide a lot of the things that women provide.
Richard Dodds 14:11
Everybody has their lane and their strength. Exactly. So
I think like in those situations on there, it's important for for those people, if you are searching for a relationship and such a large place like that, is to you need to watch and you need to use the experience to spread your mind. Open your mind, keep your mind open because I know shows one thing I find interesting is those people they will be locked up on the first episode. Mm hmm. By locked up because of a look or you know, like not even like you you're not even digging deep. How can you dig deep on a first date with 30 other people, right? So I don't know. It's scary. It's terrifying to me.
Richard Dodds 14:56
I can see what you mean and just pay Attention can get you so so far in the situation that you know what I mean? Like you could be going down a row, but I pay attention when especially like when you're doing you really got to pay attention because you you want to kind of be able to read the person you want to see that person's interested. And I can I can think of a time where I was trying to hook up a friend of mine with what the girl that I was talking to his her friend. And like I had them over there talking and body language like she slumped over and she was not interested. And then when I came over to talk to her she perked up and and I was like, dude,
because you had the dollar bills in your hand because you you he wasn't he wasn't paying her know. That story isn't that
Richard Dodds 15:48
there's no story like that. What that stripper? No stripper, sir.
That stripper name cinnamon roll. First Name cinnamon, last name roll.
Richard Dodds 16:00
But the thing is, is that a lot of times when you approach somebody I like when I when I was single when I would approach someone, the thing that I paid attention to was the body language. When you have that first introduction, and you have that conversation. You can tell if they're interested or not most times, and if you're getting that vibe, kind of like leave me alone, like this is not going overwhelmed. And you just kind of like, well, you have a nice day.
We'll see. I think for me, for me, it was always nice. Because when I when I went out on dates when I was single. When I was here, I'm kind of you know, not single anymore. Now I got a sweet thing. Oh, let me get back to the story. Yeah, when I was doing it, me personally, it was basically to see who could put up with me to the best. You know, I mean, because I always had this like imagination. And well, not imagination. But this theme in my mind where if you can deal with me, then I'm good. Like some a lot of you are extras, and I'm always gonna be extra 100%. And that's just that's just me, but I'm kind. Sometimes. I mean, I don't I I'm kind. I would say there's been a few times where I've been kind of, um, yeah, okay. Yeah, I can go with that. I helped you with that stripper that one time it was no stripper, because I tipped that stripper for you. You know, the one with the Miss and I and the peg leg. She just Janica doll
Richard Dodds 17:23
spreading false rumors and fabrications.
She's trying to make $1 go.
Richard Dodds 17:30
So what thinking about relationships? How do you think a lack of emotional intelligence affects a relationship?
Oh, I think I think it affects the relationship in a way. That is extremely I would say depressing and negative. Because it's it's it just go it's a I guess there's a there's a there's a silver lining, not even a silver lining, but a 5050 chance that it may be they don't understand how to do it. Hmm. You know, and I guess that would be the question, do you understand how to be emotionally sound? You know, maybe they've never experienced any type of relationships where you know, that that that was necessary. Maybe their last relationship didn't have anything to do with emotion. They just learned this, this is a new thing. Yeah, you know, so that's, that's a hard thing to say. So it but it affects the relationship in the worst ways. Because if you're involved in the other person isn't and you don't know it, and you both you both aren't feeling the signals, then it's that's a problem.
Richard Dodds 18:34
The thing is, is that a lot of time, I know a lot of the women that I've talked to friends or otherwise, one of the things that they need is like that compassion, any soul, they need their man to understand what they're going through, to relate to it to be able to step in when when those signals are seen. But if you don't even know how to read those signals in yourself, it is very hard to read them and someone else.
Yeah, 110%. You just basically just out there. Out there.
Richard Dodds 19:06
I wonder if that lack of emotional intelligence has intelligence has anything to do with our tendency in this generation, especially to be selfish?
Oh, I don't know. How could you say? Well, you saying that selfishness is a sign of a lack of emotional intelligence.
Richard Dodds 19:23
I say it could be related. And the fact that emotional intelligence you have to actually pay attention and want to understand how someone else is feeling how you're feeling. If you're selfish, all you do, all you are you're doing is caring about yourself. You're not caring about how other people feel you're not doing that response, because it's kind of like a scientific thing. You do something and then you kind of see how how other people react and then you make adjustments there. But if you are if you're selfish, and you don't care how other people act, then you're never learning anything from that stimulus response.
Yeah, I mean, that's that's valid. I mean, but I don't know it's, I guess a hard one for me just thinking about the the idea of, of classifying emotional intelligence. Yeah. That's kind of difficult. It's just for me, it's like, it's hard for me to classify it is because I guess you could say, Hey, you have an awareness. I guess that's a better word for me. I guess it's the same thing. emotional awareness, emotional intelligence,
Richard Dodds 20:25
you see it, okay. Put it like that. It's like being in touch with yourself, or being in touch with yourself or being in touch with other people.
That makes sense. Yeah, I could see it that way. emotional awareness. That sounds that sounds better. I guess it's the same thing. I don't know intelligence that kind of gives us its own thing.
Richard Dodds 20:43
I mean, I, I think we both can say that we've heard of like other people that don't know what to do. Because even when it's so readily apparent, that's something that's going on, you don't see it too. So like the sky is crashing down. And like, you know, you hear that the girls was like, I was going through this, this and this, and I told you this, this and that, but you didn't even come and care until I started crying. Because a lot of times, some some of us do not
just always crying.
Richard Dodds 21:16
Sometimes you don't get the subtlety of it, because you can't recognize it until you get that response that you understand. You can understand crying. But you might not understand the other little subtle things that led to the cry that got when it got that bad.
Likes, like I say semiology is always grind. So it's more or less just like, hey, I'm here.
Richard Dodds 21:37
Stop talking about me, man. I have my time. So I want to cry. Leave me alone,
you should do me. Like that peg leg stripper,
Richard Dodds 21:45
you usually don't do that ladies go he's gonna carry this peg leg strip was pregnant. She was pregnant. Cinema row, Peg Leg iPad,
she was with child she's pregnant. Never kicked that lady out.
Richard Dodds 22:02
This is like, elaborate, like, just keep building onto the story as we go,
Hey, I tried to help her. But, you know, whatever I did, what I could
Richard Dodds 22:11
move right along. I think that it's so important to communicate. Because even in a good situation where you're eating each other, and you understand when your partner's going through emotions. And I mean, I think is as a man, sometimes we might be harder to read, because a lot of us shield what we're feeling. So often. I mean, even between me and you as friends, I can think of times where I could be going through, and you'd be like, Alright, man, I'm like, I'm good. No matter what it is. I'm good. No matter what you're going through, I'm good. But it takes some time for us to open up. And
emotional awareness will say that's not it. That's not a good you're not good upset. Exactly. He's not happy, he's crying.
Richard Dodds 22:57
There's so many times where we will feel like our partner should understand us and understand our emotions and understand the way that we're feeling. And then we have to really remind ourselves is that they can't read our minds.
Eggs. Oh, man, see, you just took the words right out of my mouth. And I was thinking that too, like, like thinking or expecting your partner to like to know, to know what you think. And that's, that's absolutely insanity there. But I think it's important for, for us as human beings to to give our partners that leeway to say, hey, well, I know you don't understand this, oh, look, I'm going to explain it to you once and let you know, hey, this is how I feel when this happens. And you know, I just want you to know that so you are emotionally aware in the future. Yeah, when they don't do it, kick them out. Richard did that stripper, whatever.
Richard Dodds 23:49
I think it's important for you tomorrow, I see you. I think it's important for you to have an awareness and to learn the person that you're with. Because you're not like when you first get together, you're not going to know everything about that person, you're not going to know how they handle certain situations. And that's part of getting to know someone. But when that stuff happens, it's kind of a pattern. You know, like, if that person every time something like this happens, this is what they need to get out of it. And this is what they need from you as a partner. If you do that a couple of times, and they tell you like this is what I need in these situations. And then you don't do it. You know, then that could cause some some some tension. Yeah. But it's like, whenever I've been in a relationship, and I see what happens when my partner if it's if it's something that happens that I know that Oh, when this happens, this is the kind of support that you need in the kind of support that you expect from your partner, and you try to be there for them. Then that is being intelligent to the person that you're with and learning that person.
So I I'm with you, right. So there's another show, right? No, no Have you ever seen this one but this one is called Love is blind? I never watched it. Discovery need to start paying us, man, I'm telling you, but it's called love.
Richard Dodds 25:09
Love his boy was on Netflix.
Whatever discovery Netflix, the other one is on Netflix. Oh,
Richard Dodds 25:16
no need to pay, that's fine. Netflix, check. That's fine.
Either I'm looking for a check, but anywho. So this one in particular, I really like this one, but this one is based on, you know, they meet this person, and then they marry them before they see them. So do you engage them? My question is, how long? Like, do you need to find out if somebody is emotional aware because these people they get I think they get four weeks, and then they get married. So they get engaged behind closed doors. No, but they don't see each other unseen. They they go to Mexico, they meet each other's families, and then they get married. That's literally how the show goes. That's why and then it's so it gives me a lot of anxiety. Thing is, because the thing is, is like, you know, same thing you don't know like you meet this person in Mexico, Mexico is beautiful, right? Your Beach, everything is nice. There's no stress, then they get to the families, everything kind of gets a little shaky, they have arguments, and it gets to the point where you start to wonder, like when they met these people, what what attracted it, like there's something you had to attract you to say I want to marry this person other than the fact that they say they're good home clean there. They cook and clean, like, you know what I mean? Like, and then when you get to that point, and they're not there, you don't marry him. Yeah, you know, that's not it. You spent all this time attracted to what you know, I mean, not their emotion not that feeling because that's not there. It never was,
Richard Dodds 26:55
I think those that show just like Married at First Sight. That's kind of difficult for me like just because anxiety Richard anxiety. So first of all, like, as much as we want to say that love is blind love is not just to get to talk to someone, you got to find them attractive in some kind of manner and
mine, it just has a bifocal.
Richard Dodds 27:18
So like even to approach someone, you're not like, Oh, I was so attracted to the, to the way that they think like you're not going to be close enough to know that a lot of times unless it's a public figure. So
people like me, I'm a smooth talker, I'll tell you anything.
Richard Dodds 27:36
But the first thing that's gonna attract someone to someone else usually is some kind of physical attraction. Especially for men because we're very visual creatures. And then to like what he can speak for all men it's a scientific fact that we're more visual but when it comes to attack speak
for every man I don't know if I'm more visual I'm more spiritual
Richard Dodds 27:59
you know, anyway,
I am I'm more spiritually connected to the love that I have my woman your visual because you're a pig Richard and all you think of women as things and bodies and boobs and stuff. That's what you think about I think about love and laying on blankets and apart
Richard Dodds 28:19
if this was reversed date, that would have been worse begin to reverse but we're not
done so candy and shot a plan in the background.
Richard Dodds 28:30
Yeah, like shadow.
Unknown Speaker 28:32
I do do is that is beautiful.
Richard Dodds 28:35
But you know, so you made me totally forget what I was talking about.
And that was the point.
Richard Dodds 28:42
But no, so even Yeah, even in long distance relationships, right? You could find somebody physically attractive, you could talk over over cameras, but meeting that person in real life, it has a certain kind of connection that you make from being close to someone being in a proximity, like the pheromones and everything. So even just meeting somebody, pheromones,
the pheromone pheromone you just say that the pheromone so you can witness these pheromones? No, it's
Richard Dodds 29:14
a subconscious thing. So So select the level.
So the sub say subconscious on a molecular level, my molecular molecular, okay, I'm just making sure Okay, guys, I'm just trying to get my words together. down my big book word. Got it. You got the big
Richard Dodds 29:37
book of words that Richard said, Big Boo monocular just just well just even simplify more than is a chemistry that you have when you meet someone in person. And it is times where you could talk to somebody for a long time over the phone even see them in video. And then when you get there face to face, that chemistry just isn't right. Yeah, that's AppId Yes. Is what I'm saying. So like to think about getting married without meeting someone or only in America, just talking to somebody gives me the heebie jeebies. That's tough because you can like somebody a lot, but not be physically attracted to them. And that's a man or a woman. And then maybe like, Well, this was nice, but I'm not attracted to you that way. I
always I always think about, like, you know, this Tinder date I went on. Oh, man, it was like that, but it was just like that. Not even not it's not even now. But no, it was just like, that was just like, when I got there, it was just like, Ah, man, I do like, you know, you get committed, you know, you get committed and she didn't have any cookies available as well. So I was out lickety split. What kind of cookies we talking about actual cookies. I wasn't playing any games. I was actually looking for cookies.
Richard Dodds 30:51
That was out there was a warehouse and she and
I went over how she didn't have any cook. No, I didn't I mean, I don't like liars. You know, I'll put that up there.
Richard Dodds 30:59
Here you know nobody likes a liar. I don't do that. But I think the the way that I think that
Richard Dodds 31:16
just just say all this just start over right? Yeah, the next thing that's hilarious. So I felt like the world has been shrinking in a way it's so easy to meet people. And steep Yeah, it's so much easier. So growing up before like internet and even cell phones. You grew up in a town and the dating pool was that time because he's leaving that time chance Oh, that's sad. But now like we our cell phones we got internet we got like video calls we got zoom cars got cars we travel we can meet people online. I mean, like we just have to ride horse and buggy Thank you back take it back to another dating show us on Discovery plus you the single life
I have another one Breaking Amish that's a cool date and one so we talked about
Richard Dodds 32:06
that one before. But like you can meet somebody halfway across the world and then go meet them actually have a relationship with them. That opens up a whole nother dating pool.
Yeah, shout out to big head he's done that several times he's probably too big. He's being asked not problematic. Maybe it is misunderstood. Bigger is problematic. He is misunderstood, bro big so if you're listening
Richard Dodds 32:38
I'm sure he listens on a regular basis.
What if he does man What if he does I like big air though. I'm be honest with you. I think he is a little bit problematic. But I mean, I feel like I feel like he was looking for love and all of those situations and out of all the five times he did it all the love all five times he was looking for love each of them. Each of them he was madly in love with those women so he gave his all at the end of the day.
Richard Dodds 33:08
I think the thing would to diverge a little bit for people who don't know who they are as he has no say a character but he's a person who's been on several he's a character several seasons of a dating show and a lot of his relationships end up crashing and burning. I think the problem would be is that it is more so looking for love than the person to be in love with. Yeah, and whenever you're looking for love and not a person to be in love with you kind of open opening yourself up for disaster failure
Unknown Speaker 33:43
Richard Dodds 33:46
But you know what? The world is shrinking. I feel
like stop saying that. You make it uncomfortable. Every time
Unknown Speaker 33:54
you save the world is shrinking. Anxiety from the world shrinking.
I don't want to hear that the world is shrinking. No one wants to hear that. Don't say that. Don't say they have something else but to say the world how about saying the world is getting smaller? How's that?
Richard Dodds 34:10
That's the same thing that's just a lot more.
But it isn't though. It's different. The world is shrinking. Oh my god the world is getting smaller. Oh okay. That makes sense. How is that better? It is just it is Richard just go with it.
Richard Dodds 34:27
With having access to more of the world from where you are you doing you're no longer limited to a smaller you know. You're no longer limited to 50 mile radius getting to know someone you have a lot more opportunity with the apps whether you like them or love them or hate them. I hate them. I hate being on on when I was on. But the thing I would put the thing is you have so many more opportunities to meet people
and you like that Didn't
Unknown Speaker 35:02
you say that? Let's tell the real story. The real story, what's the real
story? Let's tell everyone about Penelope.
Richard Dodds 35:11
You're just making names up Penelope Cruz.
Oh, I didn't even say her last name, you got to put her name out there like that not talking about the actor's name. That's not okay, whatever. Just go ahead. dirty secrets by cinnamon and Penelope.
Richard Dodds 35:28
We just go. But, you know, you can reach so many different people. And I think the times like going back to what like the last episode where we're talking about fair commitment. I think it's hard to commit some for some people when they have so many different options. And it will be like a period in time where even the best relationships, the most perfect relationships take time to grow. And you're going to get your rocky periods is things that once you hit a first pop, if you buy, oh, well, I can just go over here because it seems better. You're not gonna spend that time to build a relationship.
I think Rocky periods they'll come more often if you don't communicate. That's true. And I think that rocky periods only come when you don't communicate.
Richard Dodds 36:22
Rocky, Rocky situations can come when you can communicate?
I don't think so though I don't I don't believe so. Because the thing is, if if it's a rocky situation, I mean, whatever that could be, hey, if this is a conversation, then that doesn't have to be rocky, it doesn't have to be as bad as it seems you have a problem, tell me you have a problem. And then let me choose to feel a certain type of way about it. But if you're being honest with me, and you're being open with me, then I can't really be upset at your honesty. I have to take that I have to process it. I mean, that's that's what I'm saying. So it's like, it doesn't have to be a rocky situation. It could just be Hey, you know, we had a conversation. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it could be all we always have deep conversations as opposed to we always have arguments.
Richard Dodds 37:10
Yeah, but I mean, it really goes to communication styles. Like it's some people who, once they get triggered once they get triggered, they're triggered. You know what I mean? It could have been like your thing. Hey, this was a misunderstanding. I think you thought I was talking about yellow, but I was actually talking about red eye. You know what I mean? The Richards like,
Unknown Speaker 37:30
no, no, you shouldn't have done this. For two scoops of ice for two lattes, not just one.
yelled at that lady.
Richard Dodds 37:39
I mean, but I did we you know, Penelope. You just go karaoke. Ideally, you will want someone who will be able to communicate with you communicate effectively without having to argue because I mean, arguments are not are not healthy. If you're not actually listening to one another. You can have a conversation arguing
if you're arguing you shouldn't be together.
Richard Dodds 38:04
That's not true. Because I think that everybody tries to argue
I don't but no, this is the thing. I think there's a level I think there's a level of talking. I think there's a level of discussing. I think there's even a level of having, like I said, a really good conversation. But if you're arguing that means that there's clearly somebody points not being heard. And you're both just sitting there trying to say I'm right. That's arguing No, no, I mean, arguing I
Richard Dodds 38:30
mean, I guess you when you put it that way, I get what you're saying. I feel like
if you're trying to constantly trying to be disagreements, like Yeah, disagreements, I rather have a disagreement than an argument. But yeah.
Richard Dodds 38:44
Yelling and cussing each other, the whole different thing.
And you shouldn't be together. That's basically you should stop. I mean, I swear, I stand by that if you yell and you cussing each other, stay away from each other. You should not be together, I think,
Richard Dodds 38:58
like you and I are similar and that we like to keep our peace. Yeah, even when, even when it's a disagreement, whether it's between a friend and especially if it's between your partner. Yeah, it's like this conversation. Conversation is key. I remember talking. Yeah, I was I remember talking to someone, and that whenever we got into it, and we disagree, it was like, you just want to be right. You just want to win. Like and I was like, if I just if I just want to win is no winning in a relationship. We're partnership. If one of us win, I mean, we both lose. Somebody has to lose and that's not what I'm looking for. My thing
is, is I'll be quiet before I have to be right. Yeah. Before I have to prove out right I am. I'll be quiet. I'm fine with that. I know. I know. I'm right. And
Richard Dodds 39:49
the thing about it is that I think we've said it before on the show probably really really early. Oh yeah, we 50 Plus episodes and but yeah, once I stopped discussing with you, or arguing or having conversation? Are we going back and forth? When I'm just like, okay, that's when I'm done. Yeah, because it's no longer worth my time to present my point of view.
Right? And you done right. That's what I'm saying. You get to the point where it's like, I'm not arguing I'm telling you, you should not be with and like I said, again, you should not be with someone who you argue with. That is silly. That means that you're never, ever going to get your point across. And that could be anything. Maybe you're trying to get the point across that you actually love this person. It's never gonna get across. Period. Can't fix it. If it started broken.
Richard Dodds 40:46
Fix it if it started or broken.
You can't fix it if it started broken because that's where it started. He can't figure because hey, you can't fix them. They don't need to be fixed. It was already broken. That's a bar. That's deep.
Richard Dodds 41:04
Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to be a part of the conversation. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Please be sure to like and subscribe to the show or your favorite podcasting app. You can follow our personal accounts.
I am the DJ blue. I am DJ.
Richard Dodds 41:26
You can find me on
everything. I am the DJ booth
Richard Dodds 41:34
you can find me here on SB o DD SSL. Until next time, boys and girl
remember there's always a next time that was like nerdy to the fifth power. For a minute I didn't know I didn't know if you were speaking in English. Just the colors
Unknown Speaker 41:54
and then when the colors come around and then they start naming these colors
so but science
Richard Dodds 42:05
relationship talks where we can name and as a crown culture media LLC production is produced by me. Richard Dodds and our theme music is by the DJ
Transcribed by https://otter.ai